Thank you everyone for you comments, love and support. I'm truly grateful for your kind words and encouragement. It is very nice to know that while others may not understand WHAT I'm going through, we all understand how trials affect us and can relate to each other on a level that allows us to lend support.
Thank you Sarah for sharing your thoughts on how even as the Savior, who is perfect, suffered in the Garden, He asked that His burden might be lifted from him. It is one more way for me to find comfort in the Savior and gives me strength. Sometimes it is hard not to beat myself up because I feel that by asking for the burden to be lifted, I am asking if I can just give up. I need to remember that what I'm asking for is comfort and the ability to bear my burdens. And there is no reason to feel guilty about that!
It is interesting how 'weak' I have felt lately. I have never thought about it in a way where I tell myself that I am not weak but that the trial may just be maxing out my strength. When I look at it that way I have a greater desire to build up more strength to make it through. And with that comes hope, which I have to cling to when things are hard.
I am so blessed to have you wonderful people to share in my trials. I do feel strength from you. I feel your prayers and I see God answer them in my life all the time. I have had such sweet blessings this week that I can't ignore! The little miracles were most definitely prayed here. Even in the midst of what seems like the hardest time I've ever had, I have seen the little miracles. I will have to share them sometime but for now just know that I am blessed by your prayers and faith. Thank you for having some on my behalf, when I had none left.
1 comment:
Dear Jessica,
This sucks. It's hard. You're allowed to be discouraged. You're allowed to see how unfair this is. You're allowed to vent your feelings. You are not allowed to let people bully you into assuming you're ungrateful because you're struggling. You're not allowed to get down on yourself for crying, being jealous, being angry or yelling once in a while.
The important thing is that you keep going. Honestly, so long as you're doing SOMETHING in SOME way to move forward, be it through treatments, adoption or simply trying to have the patience to wait it out, then you're allowed to have moments where you let this consume you.
This. is. HARD. You're doing a lot in the middle of a ton of pain. You are doing an AMAZING job. Really and truly. I'm proud of you and Heavenly Father is too. If you EVER need to vent, please e-mail me. Honestly. I'm a great sounding board.
You can do this. You ARE doing this. You are strong, you're a wonderful mother. Any child will be blessed to call you their mother. Remember that. You are worth the fight.
Ashley
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