Thursday, October 6, 2011

Thoughts on Temple Marriage

Last Thursday we were able to go to the Manti Temple to see my sister Brittany and her awesome husband, Austin, be sealed together for time and all eternity. It was a beautiful day, they were beautiful, the temple was beautiful, and the sealing was beautiful. I have to admit I got a little teary-eyed as they were promised blessings included in the sealing ordinance. It made me so grateful for my own marriage, but especially grateful to know that my sister has a wonderful man to share that covenant with. Someone that will love her and cherish her by taking her to the temple and honoring their covenants. Someone that will be a wonderful husband and father as they live their lives.

As I had these thoughts I felt the spirit so strongly, bearing witness of how important it is to keep our covenants and develop a celestial marriage. This world is so messed up these days, that it is so easy to let outside influences into your marriage. The little things that we think matter or time we spend being busy with extra things really can get in the way of helping to build our relationships. As the Sealer spoke to us I had a greater desire to make my marriage celestial and recieve the blessings promised us.

The Sealer shared some great insights to help live a life worthy of all of the covenants we make with our Heavenly Father. He spoke of the things we promise and the blessings we can receive in return. The first thing to help us along was returning to the temple often. We learn and grow each time we return and keep ourselves worthy to enter the doors of the temple. Another suggestion was to pray together always. We are not told to pray sometimes, or when we feel like it or when we feel that we need it. We are admonished to pray always. The Sealer invited Britt and Austin to kneel together each morning and night and to thank the Lord for each other and their love.

The biggest thing that stood out in my mind in way of advice was to be in Love. Tell each other how in love you are often. Of course these are things that I know we should do and I've always tried to do, but it struck me for some reason. Think how unselfish these acts require a couple to be. If every married couple talked daily of the things they love about each other, how many marriages could be saved? When thinking of the reasons you love someone it is almost impossible to focus on their faults. Isn't it easy to forget the little things that seemed to matter before when you focus on what really matters? Does the fact that you load the dishwasher differently or he doesn't get the socks into the hamper change the way that you feel? I just felt a rush of all of these thoughts as he stressed the importance of saying I Love You.

I watched them kneel across from each other and saw the love in their eyes. I'm so happy for them and know they will have a wonderful life together. We are so blessed to have Temples. I felt a lot of love and comfort from our Heavenly Father to be reminded of my own temple covenants. I was reminded to continue to have an eternal perspective in all things. I hope to be able to work on making my marriage celestial.

Through all of the trials and hardships we have we can't loose our eternal perspective. Some of the things that have been getting in our way lately are finances. How are we going to afford adoption? It's impossible to try IVF again when it failed the first time. Can we risk losing out the money again? Sometimes I feel like we have no choice but to give up and wait until we have this or that. It seems like too many dinner conversations revolve around our finances that I find myself forgetting why we are trying to start a family in the first place. Sometimes it feels like I am ignoring our relationship because I'm so focused on doctors and medication and dates or times. It is more important that my husband and I Love each other first! I know that we will be blessed with children, whether it is in this life or the next. If I remember this it would be so much easier to align our will with Heavenly Fathers will. Then our focus could be on patience, love, and our relationship. An eternal perspective gives us the assurance we need to move forward with faith rather than getting confused, obsessed, or neglecting important relationships. Of course we need to continue to try to build our family but not at the expense of so many other important things. It is possible to do all of the things we are trying without it taking over our lives. Hopefully I can do better at keeping this focus as we move forward with things. I was grateful first of all for the reminder of the eternal perspective, and secondly for the reminders of how to build celestial marriages and relationships.

So, congratulations to Britt and Austin for starting a wonderful journey! And thank you for your examples and reminding me of so many important things.


Kendra and Karl said...

Jess you continually amaze me with your strength and your insight. It is SO important to keep working on your relationship and striving to make your marriage eternal. And "I Love You" can NEVER be said enough. Thanks for the reminder that we need to be actively involved in making a marriage strong, not just assuming it will stay that way with no effort on our part.

Richelle said...

Such great thoughts. It reminds me a lot of the things that were said in conference, reminders to have an eternal perspective.

Cameron and Vanessa said...

Thanks for the good post about loving each other and temple marriage. It is such a good reminder.